This morning as I was doing my quiet time and reflecting on this week’s sermon, I realized that I want more. I want more than the daily cycle of fear, disappointment, confusion, praying for change and healing. The never ending battle between my heart and my reality. I need more. God tells us that Jesus came to this world so we can live an abundant life. That is not only when we reach glory! God wants us to be free and have abundant life NOW!

The quest for abundant life is one that we all travel for most of our lives. That desire for things to just be ok. Wanting the downpour of life to stop or to at least be able to grab an umbrella and not get drenched. Reflecting on why life seems so hard all the time, I am beginning to understand that it’s not life, but how I respond to life that creates the perception of how hard it is. God tells us that in this world, this fallen and broken world, we WILL have trouble. God never tells us that once we place our faith in Him that life will be easy. The exact opposite, actually. The more we pursue God, the more the enemy will try and destroy us.

We should not be surprised when hard things in life, trouble, pain, heartbreak, illness, etc. come into our lives. But what does that mean for us? I’m in a season in life where everything is hard. It seems that I can never catch a break with the hard, the painful, the scary, the disappointing parts of this life. I was reflecting on the passage in 1 Kings 3:5-15, the passage where Solomon, as King, is visited by the Lord. In this passage, God asks Solomon what he wants more than anything. Solomon could have asked God for anything his fleshly heart desired, but instead, he asks God for wisdom.

Wisdom. I’ve read this passage numerous times, and this is the first time it really struck me that Solomon, who was the wisest, richest, and most highly regarded King, asked for wisdom. Most of us know that wisdom is the ability to make correct, sound decisions and judgments, but what if the wisdom from God is more than that? What really struck me is that with wisdom, life doesn’t change, but our ability to make sound, righteous, and Godly decisions about how we respond to the things in our lives, does.

We will never be able to change the way our lives come at us. We pray and invite God into our lives, we pray for protection, and God always shows up in that. However, because we live in a sinful, fallen world, we will never escape the consequences of others or our own destructive choices, completely. With that knowledge and my own life experiences of trauma and pain, I decided to start asking God for wisdom.

As much as I would like God to keep me from any more pain and hardship in my life, I know that’s not realistic. So I would like the wisdom and discernment to make the right decisions within the storms of life. When the tsunami waves of pain and fear come crashing into my world, I want the wisdom to know what to do in those moments. When I pursue wisdom, when I invite the Holy Spirit into every moment of my life, I will be able to protect myself and my family from many of the traumas we aren’t meant to go through. More than that though, I will be able to navigate the aftermath of whatever we do experience and begin responding differently.

When I respond to what this life brings with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it doesn’t make the pain go away, but it lets me see things from an eternal perspective instead of a temporary, human perspective. More than anything else, I want the wisdom to know how to navigate life, and how to lead others the same way.

I wrote this in response to my reflections this week:

More than riches
More than fame
More than success

I want wisdom
A discerning heart
To make the right choice
Between right and wrong

More than love
More than restoration
More than healing

I want wisdom
A discerning heart
To choose correctly
Between right and wrong

I want a discerning mind
A heart that can know
Which way to move

A heart of wisdom
Free from fear and doubt

Give me the heart and mind of
Solomon, who served You
Who led your people home

More than anything I want wisdom


  1. Karen Scalf Bouchard

    This is powerful. The feelings the author describes are so universal and relatable–we’ve all felt them, yes? This sentence really got me: “I realized that I want more. I want more than the daily cycle of fear, disappointment, confusion, praying for change and healing.” But Kristen does more than put words to our feelings, she offers a balm–and a real solution–as well.

  2. Phyllis

    What an article! Great piece

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